Chewing Fingers To Curb the Rising Divorce Rate Globally

How about a bite of your finger every time you lost a loved one? Or cutting it off completely, as a sign of deep connection? Just the use of a sharpened stone blade to provide the blunt force necessary to break the phalanx and amputate the upper section of a finger or even a simpler one, tying off at the joint to restrict circulation, numbing it so that removal is less painful?

Well, that is the Dani tribe of Papua New Guinea, mourning rituals. Ikipalin, cutting off fingers. According to them, each finger of the hand has a spiritual link to life and each other.

This philosophy explains their willingness to sacrifice their fingers. In fact, they argue that the physical loss of a finger is a link to the universe and family and friends and lovers who have gone before them.

So, how many of you are willing to sacrifice a finger or two for your divorced spouse? Because losing a spouse, really is a great loss especially when children are involved. Whether you lose them through divorce or death. And to the polygamous, how many fingers would they have, assuming they lost one every time they left one? With the rising number of divorce cases seen globally represented recently by our celebrity couples; Johnie Depp, Gerard Pique, and Shakira to our very own Akothee, now at 53 percent, such laws should be introduced. Don’t you think? We cannot play around with the marriage institution.

For example, if one is getting divorced, you cut one finger, both of you. Or because men consider marriage a very depressing experience, they just pay dowry with one finger, so that they may see the consequences of their choices. A great thought!

Apparently, if a member of this community was thought to have had a lot of influence and power in life, the Dani tribe feared they would be equally strong in death. To keep restless spirits away and to avoid an ancestor's curse, they provided their amputated fingers to appease the spirit of the deceased. After they were removed, the segments were dried and burned and the ashes buried in a special place.

Now, because we have self-proclaimed demigods in our midst, in the name of politicians, how about you nominate your area MP, or governor to donate his or her finger to counteract the spirits of poverty, and probably make China forget about the billions it lent Africa. Another intelligent thought!

In psychology, depression sufferers sometimes cut themselves to channel their mental pain into something physical. For some, this self-destructive act destructs one from emotional pain, which can be difficult to overcome. People cut as a coping mechanism

The Dani people used this same concept to explain finger cutting. Physical pain was an important part of coping with the emotional pain of grief.

How about you tag your favorite socialite, and ask them to try something fingerly, that instead of twerking videos, half-birthdays, and baby bump photos, just do a finger chewing video, it will calm their spirits, it’s all about clout and entertainment right?

Anyway, this is just one of my wild finger-licking stories, I’m not pointing fingers!